She opens the book, her book
Gently she touches the page, uncurls the corner piece. Autobiography. Distance. Closeness.
She finishes the page, pauses. Reflects, words mirror.
Who’s book? Her book. She rereads. Rereads. Rereads the same page, the same words, the same hate.
The same love, the brave, an escape. Movement and pause.
And vogue. And stroke. The bold words, the font, bleeds, it bleeds, it bleeds.
She stops. Rereads, hands shaking to turn the page. A knot in her throat. A not in her perspective. Transfixed.
Stuck feeling, breathe.
Exhale and turn.
Forward to the next chapter. A sigh.
this is where a poem belongs. in hearts and songs. spells and coffee, bright and heavy. hindsight 20/20. cross the street, don’t look back. gone, just like that.
dream field, she’s dressed to the nines
her cat, her dress, crimes
who are you,
you to me. I feel dispensable, a soap container
a plague, or mono. maybe. Never been kissed.
a tumultuous stirring, a soap box, anti-abortion signs in the middle of a college campus. I stop frat-
Internalizing every tidbit, every
upheaval, every breath
inhale, every breath restrains. thought leaves rustle. thoughts leave.
an anecdote, a pun, a pen, empty on its last limb
I feel as alone as a speck of sand in a toddlers shoe as she hurdles a tantrum. zen
I breath. Subdued. one. two. three.
every follicle, pore, every poor overworked thought tightening around my throat like a nuis-
I let go. one. two. three.
and I grow.
brown freckled skin leaning in sheryl sandberg style we’re both introverted. an inconvenient truth, heart on my sleeve it’s gore, all of it. you and me, sleepy and dreamy melatonin washes, lightly lapping my dream shore
seaweed avocado cream cheese, sashimi, my rice rolls as you squeeze me
i love you like a fat kid loves cake. i love you like a grandma loves to bake. like a seattle millennial loves to get baked. like a buff dude likes protein shakes. wow.
i love you like i get up in the morning after a solid 8 hours and i stretch, feels good, bones crack, lips sunrise into a smile, warmth, heat, kindling
i’m corny, you lightly graze on my insecurities, loving dove pecking at the crumbs meticulously placed all around me, surrounding me
warm hands cold heart you rub your heart of psalms against my welcoming cool soul, bringing it back, back to life, karmic, graze anatomy
i look back craning my neck 90 degree angle, perfect, at the scene of you hunched over the computer screen pixelated 420p, take a smoke break. single black tolkien hairy hobbit toes stroking different cats for different folks. you’re a forlorn folktale, toes up and down the calico’s spine mouse click clack, back cracks as you look back craning your neck 90 degrees single dotted line black eyes piercing mine, perfect
I push you closer, hoping you would go away.
Leave me be as i wrap my arms around your waist like an unwanted Christmas present from my grandma once removed twice removed third times the charm.
I remove myself from the heated argument. I just want to clear my head. I wear your sweater and I like how you smell, unfamiliar familiarity, the warmth coats my worn shoulders you press up against. It’s like i don’t know who you are anymore.
Hands rough. I want you closer, so i push you away.
closer to me.
Sometimes I feel like a hamster on a wheel.
Conniving, engineering an elaborate plan, dreaming, creating to do lists, scheming, strategizing on how to get off this wheel when all I have to do is